Birthday Reflections!

Yesterday was my 27th birthday...my husband once again blew me away!! :) We spent Sunday in Portland with our dear friends Mike and Cynthia we had lunch at Red Robin and I was totally embarassed with a balloons, happy birthday song, and ice cream sundae. It was so funny! I got to go shopping at the Cost Plus World Market and we went out to dinner at the Melting Pot it was amazing!! :)
Then yesterday for my birthday Jeph took the day off of work (what a surprise) and he made me breakfast. Then we headed to Lincoln City...we went out to lunch, saw a movie, went to Goodwill, the craft store, we stopped at several beach spots and took pictures. Then we came home and had birthday dessert and watched one of our favorite shows "Bones" then we spent a romantic evening together! :)
A bunch of friends and family also called to wish me Happy Birthday...I feel so blessed to have such great friends and family!
This coming weekend I'm having tea to celebrate with a good friend Adrienne and I get to have a couple family parties. :) It's been an amazing celebration! I really had no expectations for it considering how the last few months have gone but I feel really energized and able to move on, praising God and I am looking forward to this 27th year God has given me...I know He has big plans for me and this year is going to be amazing!!

My birthday wishes for this year:

*get pregnant
*get my health back in check
*maintain a positive and praising attitude.
*staying committed to my biblestudies/church
*building a closer relationship with God
*spending more time outdoors enjoying nature
*building my relationships stronger
*explore my creative side more than ever
*not worry so much about what other people think

Thank you God for my wonderful husband, friends, family and community. I am so thankful that you love me and forgive me. I know you have the best for me and I will choose to trust you always! :)

(I will post pics from the weekend soon!)

Scripture Comfort

"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul." Psalm 143:8


"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?" Isaiah 43: 18&19


"Ask and it will be given to you; see and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." Matthew 7:7&8

Encouragement and Inspiration

So...after the emotional weekend I had, something happened today that just filled me up. :) Two things actually...First I have this daily Max Lucado calendar and todays inspiration just spoke to me, so here it is.

Why didn't Christ quit? Becasue the love for his children was greater than the pain of the journey. He came to pull you out. Your world had collapsed. That's why he came. You were dead, dead in sin. That's why he came. He loves you. That's why he came. That's why he endured the distance between us. "Love endures all things."

So I read that this morning and it really moved me...I shared it with Jeph and he said "thats powerful and is exactly what we needed to hear." This journey to kids and even through kids may be painful...but full of love and worth every bit of this crazy journey.

The second thing was I got to babysit a couple friends of ours little girl, Audrey she is almost 16 months and just pure joy. I spent the afternoon, evening with her and tonight Jeph and I got even more practice we had dinner with her and put her to bed. It was amazing so peaceful...I played with her, talked with her, rocked her to sleep...when Jeph got home we had dinner together and shared Audrey duty. We both looked at each other after we went to bed and agreed we felt so at peace with the whole day. We know thats exactly what we want to be doing with our lives...raising kids. I feel so great going to bed tonight and I know it's because through caring for Audrey I know my purpose in life, I know that staying home with kids is exactly(the only place) I want to be. I know God put that there.

Thank you God for an amazing day...I pray that you will bless our efforts towards kids. That we would have our own children soon...we are excited and can't wait to meet them and raise them. Thank you for putting that desire in our hearts.

Confusion...trying to sort things out.

I'm struggling....this is the truth. I don't even know where to begin but I haven't been able to blog since mid February. I haven't known what to say or how to say what I'm dealing with.
Jeph and I are trying to have a baby...it's taking longer than expected to get pregnant. We are both in prayer, being obedient to God, doing everything on our side to get pregnant. Ultimately we know it's Gods timing...we are struggling to trust in that and just be content/patient.
We are really hurting and both trying to be strong...my heart is breaking. I don't know how much longer I can go through this. Every month...we try, we wait, and my stupid period comes. We cry, and question...this is not good for our emotional health.
We both know that without children we won't feel content and happy. We both want kids so bad it hurts. With my sister Krista having another baby in September and one of my sister in laws telling me they are gonna start trying soon...practically every friend pregnant...I feel like I'm going crazy!!!
I need mercy and grace from God!!!! Jephs heart is breaking so much too...I feel bad for him, he wants to have a few kids so much and if I can't give them to him I don't know what I'll do, what we'll do.
I know this all will work out in God's timing...but I don't know when or if or what God's timing is. I feel confused, sad, frustrated all the time and I'm sick of living like this. We just want to have 3 kids of our own, the sooner the better and for everything to work out well! Is that to much to ask?

Please God...please have mercy on Jeph and I. We desire to have a house full of kids and to love and serve you. Please God..give us your peace.