Meme...thanks Abbie!!!

Ok..so here I go. I'm going to attempt this Meme thing!

*5 THINGS IN MY BAG
*wallet
*neutrogena lipgloss
*sunglasses
*excedrin tension headache
*cellphone

*5 THINGS I'M INTO
*decorating
*Leona Lewis
*Starbucks
*Pirates Cove(awesome game!!)
*My husband!!!;)

*5 THINGS IN MY ROOM
*my amazing bed that I'm totally in love with!
*silk/down bedding in black and white print!
*lots of candles
*tons of romantic pics of me and my hubby
*hope chest that Jeph made me

*5 THINGS I HAVE WANTED TO DO
*visit tuscany
*have kids(hopefully soon)
*a week long trip to the San Juan Islands(which I'm doing for my 6th anniversary)
*build my own house(someday)
*have total health

*5 PEOPLE WHO SHOULD MEME
*Krista...I'm sure you would have good answers
*Steph...you are a good meme kind of person!
*Tiffany..I just want to know you better.
*Anyone from Myspace that reads my blog..I'd love to see this as a Myspace
bulletin.
*Krista..you need to do a Meme!

Busy, busy...and projects!

So things have been really busy at my house. My husband and I have been landscaping..which has really taken over our lives. Plus, we decided since we aren't pregnant yet we would decorate and finish the house. This has also turned into quite the project and I cannot wait to be done. By June 8 we will be completely done except our new leather couches/recliner, and dining room chairs. I'm so excited!!:)I am planning to be done with the furniture aspect no later then the end of July. Just in time for pre season football and fall! I posted a pic of the clock we made...I will post more house pics soon!

The thoughts that plague me...

Why on earth can I feel good about life and be trusting God...basically be having a productive, good attitude, and all around good week. Then I get my period and the world is crumbling around me. I don't see any hope or end in sight to my pain. I tell Jeph no pregnancy this month either...I feel like I'm killing his spirit.
He puts on a brave face and tells me it's ok, it will happen, God's in control..pretty much he says and does all the right things. I can feel his pain. We love our nieces/nephews, friends kids so much and we do our best not to let our pain show..to stay connected and involved but afterwards we always feel sad we don't have our own kids, and we feel a deep, intense, pain that is around us everyday whether out in front or hidden away. I dont' understand, we don't understand...We know God's character to not give us this desire and rip it away. We don't know His timing...and are beginning to wonder if kids will happen for us. We are starting our 6th month of trying and I need prayer, support to get through this difficult phase(please God let this only be a short phase).
As Mothers Day approaches I am hurting more and more then ever before. The partial nursery is becoming a black hole in my house. I keep the door shut most of the time for fear I'll freak out and ball. I love to celebrate my mom(s) on Mothers Day every year in a special way..but this year especially I feel like I'm going to go insane with complete pain, emotional distress.
I need a huge relief, a huge healing, a huge act of grace to change my world out look right now. I need some serious motivation for so many things: house projects, busy schedule(just about to much), time/desire to exercise, the dedication to maintaining relationships(staying out of the black hole of depression.)
If these are the last few months of no kids for me...I want to spend them in a good mood, with a joyful and content heart, and a deeper understanding of myself, God, His purpose in my life, and stronger relationships.
Why? maybe thats not the best question...maybe it should be When? These things will happen and I have to get off the sidelines and be an active player. So although when is up to God...I have to be in the game whole heartedly doing my best in everything.

An Attitude Change

Well, I have realized something...My circumstances are not changing and I'm in desperate need of help, Gods help. Nothing is going to change until my attitude changes and I quit being angry and resentful. It's time I trust God and take back my joy!
How on earth can I do that? I've been asking myself that for awhile....I've finally heard how from the great Beth Moore and her weekly morning talkshow. Praise God!!!!
Yes, it's true..Praising God is the best form of prayer...and in praising God it will change my attitude which will change my thoughts and feelings.
I believe God has brought me to this realization for a reason. It's time to quit stressing about us not being pregnant and everyone else being pregnant/having kids. God has given Jeph and I a desire for kids for a reason...and he has given us many signs...including scripture that say we will have a family of our own, soon. Jeph believes this with his whole heart. Whereas, I don't...but I think it's important that I believe it with my whole heart and trust "God is willing and able to do what he has promised. Rom 4:21"
With an attitude change and joy who knows what God will do. I want to see what living life again will feel like, I'm sure it's better then what I've been living with this last year.

*God I'm giving to you my life and every aspect. I've seen what you can do to relationships ie: my dad...truly amazing and wonderful! My husband, the best in the world...my friends, the greatest group of young marrieds/girlfriends that I can talk to/do anything with, real friends. Finances...tithing, such a release in trusting God. So knowing how amazing you are God in so many areas how can I not trust you with my health(restoring)and having 3 kids of our own?!! I will now!!! I choose to really let go and let you God be in control. Thank you for your patience, grace, love, and thank you for all the things you've done and all things your going to do!
I love you! I will serve you all the days of my life to the best of my ability.

Mini family reunion

So last week Jeph and I went on a road trip with my mom, stepdad Paul, Ethan(my nephew), Krista(my sister), Sam(her hubby), and Miss J(my niece). It was good! We took 2 cars down and it was really fun. We stayed in K Falls one night...Sam, Krista, Miss J, Jeph, and I shared a 2 bedroom suite we all had a great dinner together and then the four of us watched Spiderman 3 and hung out.
The next day we got to Reno and went out to Verdi to visit with my uncle Les, aunt Kitty, and four cousins. We all hung out and enjoyed each others company. :)
The next day we went out to Carson City to a museum, it was really amazing to see the history of Nevada. We even got to go in a Ghost Town/Gold mine...really fun!
That afternoon Sam, Krista, Jeph, and I all went miniature golfing...the funny thing is it's the first place my dad had taken my mom on their first date. We had a good time! I love mini golf! That night we all went to my Grandpa and Grandmas house to hang out and then we all went out to dinner. Later that night...Jeph and Sam played pool and Krista and I watched "Why Did I Get Married." It was a fun time!
The next day we spent all day with Grandpa, Grandma, aunt Claire, Gabriella, Will, and the rest of us we even took family pictures and then we went to Cabellas the largest Cabellas I have ever seen. It had a huge fish tank(fresh/salt), and a huge safari scene. We had an amazing lunch and spent more time together.
Later that day we left for the airport...my dad picked Jeph, Ethan, and I up at the airport we had tacos for dinner and played together.
I had a really good time with my family and I will miss them. I look forward to another family trip soon, maybe September?!!!
Just remember to enjoy all the time with your family you can...you never know.

Jett...my baby!

This is my furry baby! Jett is our 6 1/2 year old black lab/shelty mix who we brought home from my uncle Jim and aunt Jens house when we moved back to the coast 3 years ago. He is our big baby...our only child right now. He loves the beach, chasing tennis balls, treats, taking walks, and anything that means we are paying attention to him. I'm glad we have had a chance to have just him before kids, it means that for sure he will be mellowed out even more by the time we have kids for him to play with. :) It's really fun whenever our nieces and nephews come over and play with Jett, he's a real showoff. :) I love my big black furry baby and I wanted to give him a special blog just for himself.

Enjoy the pics of my precious!

Seattle Trip with Alex!

So in January..my mom in law took Alex(our exchange student from Germany), me and Janessa(sis in law) to Seattle for a weekend. We stayed in downtown, we went to Pikes Place and went shopping, we had dinner at the Space Needle, we went shopping at a great outdoor mall, we even went on an underground tour of Seattle. We had so much fun...here are some pics from our amazing time!!


For my few readers info...my computer has been at the computer doctor so I will have quite a few catch up blogs this next week. Hope you enjoy reading all the stuff that has happened in the last 2 months. :)